Sunday, 11 March 2007

Miscellaneous hate page

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We know it's common but we love it...

4. Gays. Our fag-haggery knows no bounds.


We're spitting too much to speak.



"I spent an hour with Leo"

You're a showbiz journalist. You made a buck interviewing an actor, then persuaded the editors of OWM to pay you to write an article about writing an article? And plug your book at the same time? Marianne MacDonald - we salute you.




How old is too old for the Mini Mini?

Ask J Lo. She's been stepping out in high old style lately. And she's 37.


Wow, can she still walk without a zimmerframe?

"The risk: If your thighs meet in the middle, it's a no."

Women whose thighs don't meet in the middle look like nutcrackers.



"Tight, bright, scary as hell... It's Body Con."

Tight, bright, scary as hell... It's Bobby Conn!


His and hers Viagra

This is quite an achievement. A topic tumescent with humour, passion, eroticism, personal revelation and interpersonal drama, and you manage to make it really, really dull.

We can draw only one conclusion. OWM is a crap shag.


In the name of the father

Actually this looks quite interesting. When we stop spitting we might read it. Go on, tell us we're wrong.



Beauty Queen
Winning question: How do you make your nose appear smaller using just make up?

A-hahahahahahahahahaahahhaahahahahaaaaaaa

With powder, like foundation, you place a lighter colour down the top of the nose and darker powder on either side.

OWM Editor: Note to subs. The words 'powder' and 'nose' should never appear in the same sentence.



on the basis of practically no information whatsoever, backed up by a feel-it-in-my-waters sort of hunch, I'd guess...

Kathryn Flett explains the OWM editorial policy in a convenient purse sized nugget.







13 comments:

Spinsterella said...

Hello there,

Came here from a link at Oye Billy.

Well done.

OW made me so angry last time round that I actually sent an angry Letter to the Editor (I've never one that before).

It was about their 'Beauty Queen' - she accused a reader who was after an affordable body lotion of having no respect for herself.

They didn't publish it.

Spitting Mad said...

You see affordable body lotion is all very well, but can it make your nose look smaller?

Well can it? Huh?

Jammy Badger said...

Hi,

Found you via spinsterella!

I'm totally with you on this. When I see the cack in OWM, I forget why I ever subscribed to the digital version.

Interesting how "super-confident, smart, scarily ambitious" also has to have exposed cleavage on the cover.

Incidently, would a man every be called scarily ambitous?

Loving the blog!

Bowleserised said...

If I followed OWM's beauty tips I'd end up looking like Adam Ant circa the Prince Charming video.

Hail to "Observer Woman Makes me Spit" - you are much needed, and timely!

Bex said...

Thank the lord I found this blog (Thanks Spinny).

I too have been howling at the moon with rage since last year when OW first cam out.

I wouldn't mind the magazine if it was titled 'shopping' but I deeply resent women being shrunk to fit a minority special interest group. No wonder I get angry round about that time of the month.

sian and crooked rib said...

oohhh makes me so cross! once i did fall for the owmm trap. then i woke up.
the thing about faghaggery makes me cross.
'oohh look i have a gay best friend, he know about fashion and hair and stuff'
gay people are, umm, you know, people! and not handbags to carry on your arm!
why should you make your nose smaller? why should you care if you are too old for mini skirts? ok, so im only 22, but i didn't wear miniskirts when i was younger...i do now tho.
stupid stupid people who keep feminsim in the post era.

Clair said...

Yes, another Spinsterella referral.

The mag looks just silly - absolutely contrary to the ethos of the newspaper it comes with. It clearly wants to be Grazia - hence the creepy, 'We LOOOVE Grazia feature this week' - and has patronising, metropolitan view of how women see the world.

OW is still basically saying that unless you're young and pretty, you can fuck off right away.

Mancubist said...

As a man, I instinctively just bin OWM straight away - something about its name tells me to. You've inspired me to take a look. Great stuff!

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD I am so glad this is here...I was so excited when OWM was announced, and every...fucking...issue...I get more and more incensed. Especially the "common" column - Jesus fucking Christ. And this is the OBSERVER!

And have you noticed it's the only Observer magazine that doesn't have a letters page? I wonder why...

Spittingmadbloggers - I'd like to get in touch and speak to you about this blog as I'm working on a project you may be interested in - drop me a line at jude@wordmagazine.co.uk xxx

Anonymous said...

Hi! Another crossover from Spinsterella (a quiet little lurker). Gay best friends who know about fashion and girly things? Have just had a quick look at the selection available in this office. Hum. Not one I'd take fashion advice from. I appear to know the wrong sort of gay men. Should I start reading the Observer again? Did the article tell you where to meet these wonders?

velvetrabbit

Urban Chick said...

Women whose thighs don't meet in the middle look like nutcrackers.

by jingo, you're right

oh, and i just coughed night nurse over my keyboard after reading that - thanks

Spitting Mad said...

night nurse eh?

i hope you spent more than £4 buying that, otherwise we'd worry about your levels of self respect.

dolly
xx

Tokey said...

Cracking blog. I loathe Observer Woman. And if it's failing to appeal to me (Im kind of their target audience, I'm 30, work in media, live in a trendy bit of North London, am devoted to the Guardian, am a feminist who rather likes clothes and make up)... who is it appealing to, exactly?

It's an insulting publication.