Thursday, 1 March 2007

We hate you. Hate you hate you hate you.

The 50 men who really understand women

Erm, excuse me?

My friend George ...

He's an actor. He's fucked lots of women. He's saved a kid from a sewer in the face of raging torrents of water and some very scary-faced health and safety officers. Although he was just pretending.

Three out of five women are in love with Philip Green. Well, his shops anyway
Hooray, it's the bloke who makes the fags. Oh no, it's the guy who has made millions flogging clothes so skinny that you can't get your arms in a Size 16.

What do you give the girl who has everything? A session with Mario.

Or a bit of respect perhaps?

How I get dressed

Fall out of bed, underwear, then work out which charity shop bargain matches my day best.oh and then go to work

Balancing act Juggling work and kids? David Cameron could be just the man to restore your work-life balance. Unless he's too busy changing nappies


Now that just takes the fucking biscuit. I'm starting a blog.

How can you live with yourselves? Is this what you think women are? What we are reduced to? Debased to? Do we have no other interests? No value? No brains? Who ARE these women you are selling to? Who buys this image fashion image fashion image fashion carousel? We don't need it, we don't want it. I don't want to look at pictures of skinny women in expensive clothes. I may as well look through a catalogue. If you can't give us something useful at least give us porn. Or knitting patterns. Leave us out of this selling frenzy where handbags are worth everyhing and independent thought worth less than our plastic smiles.

Food. Sport. Music. Woman. The follies of dull men. Is that all we are? Another outlet for spare cash and opportunity for making a million. Is a woman one interest? Does a woman only have one interest?

A pox on you and your flavour enhanced hydrogenated oil eye make-up and your Terry de Gunzburg's Touche Eclat.


Clare said...


[massive round of applause]

yankunian said...


yankunian said...

... finally, someone has created a space for me to vent about that simpering piece of trash that has ruined my weekends for the last year. I'll be back!

gretelinthewoods said...

Well, I really look forward to "my" special week of the month! And I'm really grateful I have one!
Let's face it, the rest of the newspaper is so dreary for girls. Where else can I read an article by the ever-insightful Allison Pearson on the sort of men who understand me, followed the lowdown on which £700 handbag I need to put my name down for?!!

Any left-leaning publication that has the downright guts to admit that David Cameron is one of the biggest champions of women in Britain today is totally fab in my book. And Polly Vernon is a complete poppet. (It's not her fault she's so skinny, you're all just jealous.) She beats boring Polly Toynbee any day!

ps the oh-so-sexy cover shoots are the best bit

Ms Melancholy said...

Oh, Yes!!! You saved me posting myself. I was so pissed off at that 'men who understand women' crap. Gynaecologists, shoe makers and relationship avoidant men? Who the fuck voted, is what I want to know?

Foxy Brown said...

It's great to know that I'm not alone in thinking that this stuff is useless trash. This supplement demonstrates perfectly the nadir that the Observer has reached. Should be pulped, along with the contributers.

sian and crooked rib said...

yes! where does the owm get off? what, are women not capable of reading the news/music/food/other supplements/main bulk of the paper, so that we need our own section about what kate moss wears, whilst we leave serious news to men.
makes me spit!

birdychirp said...


[standing ovation]

Bippy said...

The men who really understand women. Yeah, great idea. Because we *are* a separate species who need our strange ways interpreting and explaining for the rest of the universe, ideally by publications such as Observer Woman, obviously. And yet how can we be REAL, proper women, the mysterious, capricious mooncalf creatures which men cannot understand, when we don't even recognise ourselves in such publications? We look at Observer Woman and wonder, how is this inane focus-group, marketingman-led bilge in any way relevant to me and my life or anything I've ever felt was relevant or worthwhile? Is this what it is to be a woman? Well, bugger me, I must be a man then . Now, pass me the Sports supplement.

Spitting Mad said...


Thanks Bippy.


allotment princess said...

Cut and pasted from my rant elsewhere:

It's appalling. And it could be so good. I can't remember if the recent article on abortions in El Salvador was in there or in the main magazine, but

IMHO that's what they should be using the woman mag for - not endless gobshite articles on people and why they split up with their ex-boyfriends and then something on hair products and chardonnay.

It's like the Observer credits its female readers with no intellect whatsoever. I for one would like to read articles on issues affecting women, for it to be educational. I couldn't give a flying toss what the latest anti-ageing cream is and whether it leaves your face feeling a bit sticky. Big woop.

Anonymous said...

George Clooney has Carey Grant Syndrome

Anonymous said...

I'm a man and I feel the OWM's view on what interests women is patronising and insulting.

Buy Cialis said...

There are indeed lots of men who dont respect women, they think that women are just some thing that needs to know how to cook, and be sexually available when the man wants.