Odd to think that stretchy horse pants are about to re-enter the heady atmosphere of high fashion, but - viewed as part of the broad move towards sporty, high-tech kit - they do make a kind of sense.
Now we hate to break it to you, but there was a box intended for Country Life, and due to an administrative error it got sent to OWM by mistake. (If it's any consolation, there are a couple of hundred inbreds currently Tally-Hoeing across Buckinghamshire wearing Gaultier bondage pants.) Jodhpurs are hideous.
We know it, you know it. Even MC Hammer couldn't pull it off - and his weren't even beige. We have got no taste whatsoever but we do we know jodhpurs are a mistake. That's bad.
4. A Great Big Cocoon Coat
So what if you do end up looking like a balloon poodle? This is fashion, you dimwits.
We could hardly have put it better ourselves. Well said, Mimi. And I guess if you're going to have a name like a poodle, you might as well look like one as well.
Julie Burchill: What I know about men.
I must say I do find the idea of a piece called What I Know About Men rather risibly offensive. I doubt if anyone would have the gall to run a weekly column called What I Know About Blacks/Whites/Asians. When I read the moaning minnie sob-sisters writing that 'All men cheat/lie/smell', you've got to wonder at the sheer bad luck of these broads to consistently hook up with such stinkers.
Hee hee. That's what happens when you get a real writer to offer an opinion. It won't be happening again.
Out: cleavage We prefer our cotton shirts buttoned up high. A little styling tiplet for you. It's hard. It's androg. We approve.
Like Hell we do. Step Away From The Breasts, OWM, or we might get nasty.
Is this the most powerful woman in fashion?
She's the 'ordinary' woman who's credited with saving our Great British high-street institution. Kate Bostock, ex-grammar-school girl, 50-year-old mother, and the power behind the M&S revival, tells Geraldine Bedell her trade secrets
...but Geraldine ignores those and embarks on self-centred rant about guess what? Clothes, body image and age.
The incredible shrinking model
As New York fashion week kicks off the latest catwalk shows, the guidelines on model weight are debated more furiously than ever. Emily Nussbaum goes Bkstage and begins to suspect the skinny issue might be more loaded than we
know.
And next month in Observer Woman, Emily goes backstage at the eating disorders clinic at Royal Maudsley Hospital. The hospitality isn't as good, the freebies aren't as good, the parties are bloody awful, but at least her readers will get the other side of the story and hey, she's less likely to bump into Nirpal.
She's worth $100m, runs a $400m hedge fund, has two sets of twins and four nannies ...
We're so bored we jus
10 comments:
Julie Burchill hates the idea of writing such a thing, but still does it anyway... bah.
I must make sure I remember to throw my cleavage out before the Autumn.
That hedge fund piece made me sooo angry, my flatmate nearly died laughing at my indignation. It mentions her "trademark sexy laugh" TWICE, bangs on about her appearance, analyses the clothes she is wearing in minute detail (so it's not enough to manage billions in funds, you have to spend hours every day choosing your outfit and doing your makeup?), and goes on about her children in tedious depth. Is this the only way OWM thinks its readership will be able to enjoy an article about a successful businessperson?
And this sentence in particular sent me into a near-murderous rage: "she has a clarity and an authority - though no ego - you rarely find in a woman" - oh FOR FUCK'S SAKE what. Just what. In the same issue as an article about the new feminists. Wonder what they'd think about the implication that clarity and authority are usually the preserve of men? Dear GOD.
This bit, too:
"I ask if she buys herself treats. 'Treats ...' she echoes, blank." I'd be blank, too, if someone asked me such a fucking stupid question.
AARRRGHHHHH
Thanks for allowing me the space to rant, as usual! Keep it up.
jo, many thanks for that.
We were genuinely so bored by the headline and opening paragraph that neither of us could read any further.
Your sacrifice for the cause is much appreciated.
"Step away from the Breast" (sigh) how many times must I hear THAT?
I don't bother reading it normally but we were stuck on a barge so I dipped a toe in, unfortunately I read it when drunk saw the sneed fashion jumper thing and laughed until snot came out of my nose ( i am a child). I did think the balance of feminist verses tossersbloggers was rubbish as I was interested in why the women had been chosen not in their pithy answers to crap questions . Also the debenhams ad with the models sat in the middle of the train tracks was a spoof on the stereotype low wattage of models was n't it ? as usual keep up the good work I think you should get lottery funding for the essential social service you provide
The OW's "age-orexic" Christa D'Souza, featured on the front page in May, has spread her ageing neurosis up to an older age bracket - Saga magazine. The cover of the latest issue has a full length photo of three middle-aged women, with the caption "TO AGE OR NOT TO AGE: Which of these women has had a facelift?" D'Souza fill(er)s us in with a long article. Because of course the only way of "keeping young" is to contribute to the already bulging coffers of the plastic surgery clinics. Think I'll put a bag over my face for the rest of the day.
Has anyone mentioned the small piece about Thneeds from last month? Or more specifically the breathless piece on HOW WE ALL MUST ABSOLUTELY GO OUT NOW NOW NOW AND BUY A THNEED. If there's one thing I had more than outrageous fashion items it's having someone tell me that without said item I'm clearly nothing more than a mere shell of a person...
Also, the "Are You A Fashion Prude Or A Fashion Slut" Quiz? Oh man, where to start....
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/woman/story/0,,2162776,00.html
Hooray! It's a beauty special this month! More plugs for overpriced unnecessary gunk!
Please please please do October! It looked so poisonous, I could barely bear to look at it. I need you to risk it in my stead, for the greater good of slagging off OWM. Thanks in advance darlings!
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